Well I can barely remember what happened on Friday night I had fallen asleep in the car on the way to camp. But will never in my life forget when the most magic moment in my young life came. My Guardian had checked us in to the resort and was taking me to my room to sleep. It was then that God let a little bit of magic to happen. I heard my name called out loud for the first time. For a LG that had spent her whole life in the closet it is a moment that you never will forget. My Guardian had let Suzy, one of the sweet English Girls, know that I had arrived safely. She must have told the other LG’s and then they all came out to greet me. The first voice that I had heard was Taffy’s. They all came out to greet me, but unfortunately I was so worn out that I passed out with a smile in my heart. My guardian carried me to my room and then I really went to sleep. Between my sweet dreams I could hear my Guardian speaking to another LG named Sarah Jayne. I was happy. I knew all the work and preparations that we had done for the past two months was hopefully going to payoff.

Saturday

Well my Guardian had asked Sarah Jayne to knock on my door to wake me up in the morning. Well since this was going to be my first time outside as myself I was up at the crack of dawn. Up until a couple of months before, I never thought that I could be in this type of situation. Some how through good luck and partial bad luck I had the front room at "Cherry House" and I was able to see outside the front windows of the building. Probably the most beautiful view in all of Pennsylvania. I sat on my bed looking out my window to have a better look at my new playmates. Unfortunately I missed seeing some of my new friends leaving for ballet. Even though I had seen most of them the night before this time it was different. There I sat on my bed in one of my favorite jumpers scared wondering if I would look as good as the other girls. Then I heard the front door of Cherry House open then slam shut. I peeked out of the window and I saw a another LG wearing a light bluish gray plaid jumper. It was Liesel. Seeing Liesel in a jumper made me feel better knowing that another LG also liked school jumpers. So then I stepped out of my room, and walked……to my car…..well a really ran to my car. Ok, I’m not the bravest LG in the world…."giggle" I made it to my car and then in a equally fast pace I went back to my room. Well after sitting back down on my bed for a few minutes I came to the conclusion that since I had came this far I might as well see it to the end. Well I summoned up all my strength and left out of my room and went searching for all the other LGs. It was my first time outside dressed in anything that wasn’t planned for me when I was born. Well except for the 60 yard mad dash between Cherry House and my car a few minutes earlier. The first thing I noticed this time was something that I will never in my life forget....

IT WAS COLD... VERY COLD.

I had taken everything into account about my first time being outside dressed except for one thing, Cold air. I remember I had spoke to another LG at the Pettipond about coming to camp and me telling her that I can’t wait to feel the wind "whipping" around my legs. I do not know why I thought the wind would be warmer. First, I am thankful that someone told me to bring tights, because those tights became so important to me that weekend. I found a new found respect for girls who have to go through that feeling of cold air biting at their legs everyday in the winter. With every step the wind seemed to blow harder and harder. The magic came when I said to myself, "I am a LG, if they could do it everyday then I should be able to do it also" Soon like magic the cold air wasn’t a factor, my body just adapted quickly, as girls must to the cold air. The next thing I noticed was that I was walking by the main lodge. I was to afraid to look inside, eye contact was definitely not what I wanted at that time. I had remembered that I seen Liesel going around the back part of the lodge so I continued walking around the building. Finally the path ended at a large, rustic, looking barn type of building. I could hear music playing from inside. I slowly opened the door and found that I was at the right place. Inside of the barn the rest of the LG’s were gracefully doing ballet. I found a chair and sat down to watch. Taffeta’s mommy was teaching the class and the other LG’s where all having fun practicing their ballet exercises. After a while the door opened and another LG came in. It was Catrina. Catrina sat at the table next to mine and proceeded to remove from her backpack enough doll accessories to make the richest girl in the world feel that she could never catch up. She even had inline skates….. wow. I sat there amazed. I had left Kaitlin in my room at Cherry house sitting on the bed. Now I felt guilty and jealous at the same time. Well I sat there in amazement watching the loving care that Catrina used to care for her doll. It was another one of those "I thought I was the only one" situations. Well by then ballet class was over and most of the class was looking forward to a great breakfast. The girls came over to greet me and then I really felt like part of the group. We then left the dancehall for the main lodge to eat breakfast. The resort had set tables in the dinning hall for us and we all sat down for a great breakfast. Me and MelissaAnn ordered the same thing for breakfast. That was so cool. After eating all of us decided to go outside to play. Some of the girls decided to change into different outfits. At breakfast we were told that the swings were "up" and ready. I remember seeing the swing sets when I was searching for the ballet class so I went to go fulfill the dream that I came to camp to do, play on the swing wearing my own school jumper. Luckily, my Mary-Janes had lugs on the soles and they made going down the hill real easy. When Rainbow Mountain decided to put up a swing set someone must have been thinking brought the best swing set on the market today. I admit that I’m a pretty hefty LG and I was fully expecting a cheap nickel and dime store aluminum pipe swing set. Well, when I came down the hill to the swing sets I was met by a swing set that could hold 20 LG’s my size and never creak a sound. The chains where the save thickness of a hoist that a repair shop would use to pull a engine out of a truck. The sun glistened off of the chains like silver. I sat on the swings, it was magic. I made sure to keep the skirt of my jumper down and started to swing and I have one thing to say about it:

If you have never swung on a swing set "dressed" then you are missing one of the blessing that God has allowed us to enjoy.

Well shortly I was joined by a couple of the other LG’s and that really made it fun. Soon we were all having fun giggling and enjoying swinging in the beautiful Pennsylvania Mountains. Well then I noticed another LG was swinging very high, unbelievably high. It was Debbie. She was amazing. I tried to keep up with her, figuring since I outweighed her that the laws of momentum would allow me gain speed and height. But Debbie was flying by then. Well after a while we all heard some of the other girls up at the courts and decided to go and join them. At the courts we played hopscotch and jumped rope. Taffeta, Debbie and Sarah Jane were great at jump rope and we all had great fun. Soon it was time for the LG birthday party. I changed into one of my other jumpers ready to go to the birthday party. At the birthday party we had cake and ice-cream. We played games and got presents. One of the games we played was classic "pin the tail on the donkey" That was fun. The remainder of the day was filled with magic. Some of the LG’s went to change, freshen up, and a few to "crash" for a spell. Some of us went into the resort lobby to play more games and talk. Taffeta had a great game…..I really didn’t know what it was called so in my mind I just called in "stones". We had a great time playing the game. While we were playing I could hear Liesel reading a story to some of the girls. The atmosphere in the lobby was total magic. People who came in marveled in the peace and gentleness that was being generated by us LG’s. If the devil had of walked in on us at that time he would know that there would be nothing that could have brought us down. Well one by one we all migrated back to our rooms. Those that have talked to me before camp are probably saying, "see Karen I bet you feel fast asleep when you got to your room." Well, I’m sorry to say I didn’t. Just as I promised I brought a Television to camp and just to be safe I packed up a VCR too. I was not about to miss my daily dose of radiation. "giggle" I kept the sound down because Cat was in the room next to mine and I didn’t want to keep her awake. I watched Disney’s Hercules and Mulan and eventually feel asleep around 2:00 in the morning. A small victory for technology.

Sunday

The next morning I was greeted once again with the beautiful and peacefully Pennsylvania mountain morning. I followed the trail around the lodge again as I did the day before this time I was able to enjoy my little walk. The day before I was still a little bit fearful so I missed the beautiful landscape around the resort. This time I was able to notice everything …..like the lake…..I never noticed that there was a lake behind the dancehall. So Cool. It was one of those magical LG Camp moments that I had heard about. Before, it was a just a lake, today I was able to fully realize it. I went inside of the hall and found the other LG’s once again enjoying ballet classes. I still didn’t ready emotionally to participate in ballet. When Taffeta’s mommy came over to ask me if I wanted to join I respectfully told her that I couldn’t join in, she was very, very nice. Well after she dismissed the class we all walked up to the main lodge for another great breakfast. Once again me and MelissaAnn ordered the same breakfast choice. So Cool. The rest of the day was mostly a blur. I found time to go and play on the swing set once more. Then I felt a strange feeling. I knew that I would not being waking up to this wonderful world for a long time. I kept swinging higher and higher. I could hear my guardian preparing to call me back. I continued to swing. I soon came to the realization that I could never swing high enough to escape leaving camp. I slowed to stop. The breeze blew over my head on its own now. I closed my eyes and reflected how I had gotten to this point. From a girl who used to stayed locked in her room sheltered and secluded to a girl who had experienced the joy of walking outdoors dressed in my favorite girls outfits. I had come so far in two months. I hopped off the swing set just walked away trying not too look back. I walked up the hill to the main lodge. Some of the LG’s were gathered in the main lodge lobby. I have a hard time expressing the feelings that we were starting to feel. The best way that I can describe what I felt was, if you could remember the scene in the movie "Field of Dreams" when the young baseball player, seeing that a child’s life is in danger, leaves the baseball field to return to being a doctor. That is the best way that I can describe the feelings I felt in my last hour of camp. Well, one by one each LG took the what in my head I call the "walk." I saw a couple of the English girls walking up to Cherry House. I knew that I would not see them for months. So went Sarah Jane, Catrina, and Susy. Then I saw Taffy come around from the back of Cherry House and began to load up her car. I decided that I couldn’t stay at the resort forever. So I departed for Cherry House to begin to pack-up and begin my journey back to the other world. I tried to memorize each step that I had to take. Before this weekend I was only able to feel the carpet under soles of my Mary-Janes. The feelings I felt today under my Mary-Janes were amazing. My Mary-Janes felt like clouds. I know that they will never have sturdy security of my hiking boots and if I had to start running I suspect that a possible twisted ankle would waiting for me. For each step that I took I could feel my Mary-Janes gliding over each pebble with the telltale black strap securely biting into the top of my feet. Then I took notice of the feeling of my school jumper. Even though I know that to many people my school jumpers pale in beauty and cutenes to the other girls outfits like the awesome party dresses that Debbie, Sarah Jane, and the others wore, but I love how comfortable wearing them makes me feel. I wanted to keep the feeling, but soon I had reached the front steps of Cherry House. I knew that the next time I walk these steps today it wouldn’t be as nice as it was that moment. Well after I was in my room I started to take off my jumper and with a final "zip" my bags were packed. I loaded up my car (including my TV and VCR…."giggle") and that’s when I saw some of the great people that had spent a magical weekend with. I went over and we all exchanged good-byes and promised that we would all try to meet in November. Then just like in the movie we all returned to our parts in society . One by one we each stepped off the lodge’s porch. No tears. Each knowing that they had gained and grew in the past few days. I walked over to my car and climbed inside. My Guardian was waiting and away we drove towards Maryland, a much stronger little girl that in turn had made us a much stronger person than we were before. All the way home I thought of the magical group that I had the fortune of being a part of.

MelissaAnn, who went above and beyond the call of little girl duty to make sure that no little girl went without a proper dress. Melissa was so great to be around and made me feel comfortable and accepted. Each day I think we sat next to each other at breakfast and those are the small magical things that she did that made the weekend so worth while and enjoyable.

Suzy, whose beautiful English accent complemented her sweet smile and constant good nature. Susy was the first LG I had ever seen in person and had ever spoken to too. Though out the weekend she never frowned and always seemed to have a happy thought going though her heart and from there she let the feelings flow outward.

Kathleen, one of my new sisters. Wow , my sister can sing. She was a great person be with. I felt like I tell her anything just as like a real sister. She listened and shared and in the end I knew that she, as did the others really cared about me. And sis if you are reading this, the football jacket looked fine.

Catrina (Cat), Catrina like I said before had a doll accessory collection that would rival the richest little girl on the planet. At first I felt scared to approach her but after seeing her playing with her doll I knew that she and I had the love of dolls in common. After that I found her to be very sweet. Now when the next camp comes around in the fall I hope that Kaitlin can meet her sweet doll.

Taffeta, jump rope, hopscotch, stones she was a master. I had never really had the privilege of specking to Taffeta in the LG Chatroom. I had only heard of LG with legendary skills and abilities in little girls games and activities. To me Taffeta exceeded her mythical status. She took the time and patience to cheerfully explain each game to us LG’s who only before had been able to watch in the distance.

Sarah Jayne, Well Sarah I will be always indebted too. When I finally reached camp late Friday night and I had met most of the girls I still was scared. Floating somewhere between anger from being lost and fear of being "dressed" for the first time in public, I decided to just get to my room and sleep on it. Well that’s when I met Sarah Jayne. I met her coming out of Cherry House. She stayed and talked to me telling how everything was great and how much she loved being at camp. She was the first fellow CD’er that I was able to really talk in lengths to. I felt that my whole decision to come to camp was going to hinge on Sarah Jayne’s comments. But, like a perfect little lady Sarah Jayne let me know that all the wonderful things that where said about LG’s and LG Camp where true. In Sarah Jayne was able to find a sweet innocence that I was soon to find that the same feelings reverberated though out all of the girls.

Liesel, was the first girl that I saw wearing a school jumper like mine. What I loved the best about Liesel was her bubbly personality and her awesome hair. I always hear girls coming up to each other and saying, "I love your hair." Well I wanted to say that so badly to Liesel that I thought that I would scream. Liesel always had the most childish smile on her face. I was amazed that every time I glanced in her direction she always had the greatest smile.

Debbie, I had heard of Debbie, I think about a week before camp. She spoke to me in the chat room and together I think we had comforted each other about camp. Debbie had what I called an "Annie Attitude." She had a "can do/girl power" strength that was amazing. I came into camp scared because I felt that might not be able to measure up. Debbie came to camp fully ready to have fun and enjoyment. She was full of strength and most importantly pride and I was able to draw off her strength to have fun myself at camp.

Pet, wow I had never really seen a petticoat before, but after seen Pet’s petticoat I knew that I had seen the best. From Pet I was able to draw the sense of style and class that make truly shows the refined upbringing of a true proper little girl.

Taffy, what can’t I say about Taffy. Taffy is proof that when God handed out kindness, caring, and gentleness he knew that one day there would be LG’s named Taffy. When I first got to camp it was Taffy who was the first to call out my name. After that I knew that everything was going to be OK that weekend and for days beyond.

I will be, with God’s blessing be at camp in November. I now know what it feels like to just let go, temporally forget, and to have fun being myself.

To be continued in November 1999…….